Wow, I can't believe it's March already! You've probably been wondering where I've been. It's been two weeks since I last posted but a lot has been going on in those two weeks for sure. If you've learned anything about me from reading this blog, following me on social media, or know me personally you will know I love pouring into others and encouraging them. Well, the truth is if I am completely honest I sorta have been ignoring myself. It is so much easier to take care of others than yourself. The thing is I am in a season where I feel like I am empty or dried up. I keep pouring out and out but in reality, I need to be filled up and poured into myself. Yes, I have a mentor. Yes, I go to church. Yes, I have a prayer life. Yes, I spend time in worship. Yes, I have friends that encourage me. But even with that, I have been feeling disconnected. I want to really dig into my Bible and grow closer to God.
Wow, I can't believe summer is over! Where has the time gone? This summer has been insane and without going into too much detail I will say that I spent a lot of time in prayer and reading the Bible. Even though I have only blogged a few times this summer it's not because I didn't want to or that I forgot about you. In fact, it was quite the opposite. You see I have openly admitted to how I struggle with comparison. Every day it is so easy to look at other bloggers and writers sites and feeds wishing you could do the same thing. I always have been worried about making this blog "picture perfect" that I started stressing out over my posts. The passion was there but the energy and will to post became almost non-existent. I started worrying more about how it looked than the actual content itself.
Wow! I can't believe that the last time I posted was on Memorial Day. This summer is flying by. I really hadn't intended to take this long of a break. I just wanted you to know that I hadn't forgotten about you. Truth is life has been crazy and rough. I know, you are probably thinking "here we go again". Yes, I admit that it has been my go-to phrase lately, but I'm not looking for attention or wanting you to feel sorry for me. If I am honest, sharing this part of my journey and story with you makes me feel very vulnerable. It’s scary sharing personal parts of yourself with others. Truth is God has been working and speaking into my life and I just had to share it with you. Many of you know that I struggle with chronic health issues. It’s a part of my life that I share about from time to time. Living with these health issues has taught me a lot. There are so many stages that I’ve gone through. There are so many questions that I have asked God over and over again. I’ve been sad, depressed, hurt, and angry. Questions I’ve demanded an answer that never came left me even more confused.
Can I just take a moment and get personal and honest with you? Right now I’m in a weird season of my life. Struggling with all sort of things. Chronic health issues Comparison Lonely Feeling worn out Emotionally drained Mentally drained It’s so hard watching others lives keep moving on when I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. Countless time after time I see friends graduating high school, college, dating, marriage, kiddos, mission trips, working that great job, etc… It starts to depress me because it makes me realize just how I'm nowhere near close to any of this.