Valentine’s Day can be a sensitive subject especially to the girl that is single. You see everyone hypes up the day to be all sorts of romantic with candy, love and spending time with that significant other. Well, that’s all fine and dandy if you are in a relationship, but for the girls who are single as a pringle, it’s just a sore reminder that at last, they are STILL single.
You see, I am 23 years old and never once been on a date. Never once been in a relationship, and never once really been in love. Now sure I’ve had crushes on guys who I thought were hot or had a great personality but nothing ever came out of it. I probably cried more over the fact that he didn’t like me or notice me or wasn’t into me when nothing ever happened.
Does that make me crazy? Crying over a boy that was never mine, to begin with?
Although I’ve never been in a relationship this year especially has been super hard for me emotionally. You see, the world and society tell us that if we aren’t dating, married, or starting a family by the age of 21 then something must be wrong with you. I had it all planned out just like probably every other girl out there. I would be married by 21 and have at least 2 kids by now but turns out that I’m far from my plan. Here I am 23 still single and no sign of finding that special someone anytime soon.
It’s really hard when you see your friends in relationships and happily in love and you don’t have anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I am super happy for them but at times I ask when is it my turn? Why haven’t I found the one? Is something wrong with me?
That my friends, I have been pondering and asking myself and God for the last year or so but especially the last month. I really started to believe the lies of the enemy.
- You’re not pretty enough.
- You’re not skinny enough.
- You’re not good enough.
- You’re too shy.
- You’re too conservative.
- No one wants you.
- No one loves you.
These are dangerous lies and can really mess with your head. I remember thinking that if I was her then maybe just maybe then I could get someone to find me attractive. It reminds me of the song Girl Crush by Little Big Town.
Yeah, ’cause maybe then
You’d want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
It ain’t slowing down
You see, the comparison is a deadly trap that can leave you believing that you aren’t good enough. I would be scared to talk to guys because I didn’t want them to get the wrong impression of me. I didn’t want them to think I was flirting with them or after them.
Part of me is a little old fashioned. You know, the guy asks the girl and if I were to talk to them first then they would think I was chasing them. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to the realization that it’s not the case. It’s okay to talk to guys even if you don’t think you’ll ever date them. You can be friends with them. That’s how you get to know them. I have another blog post I’m gonna write later on guys and girls being friends but that’s for another time.
Back to the point, Grace. You are getting way off track.
You see, being single as a pringle and ready to mingle is just a season of life. I’m not trying to diminish all the emotions, pain, confusion, and loneliness that comes with it. I’m right there with you. I’m living this season whether I want to or not.
Singleness can seem like a burden but it is actually a gift.
If one more person tells me that they are jealous of my singleness I think I would scream. I may look like I have it all together and content in my singleness on the outside but on the inside, I’m just one hot mess express. However, there are a few things I want to leave you with today if you are single and struggling to navigate your way through this confusing, lonely season.
- Use this time to grow in your relationship with God.
- Don’t be afraid to mingle.
- Embrace your single years.
- Keep trusting and praying for your future husband.
I came across this quote a while ago and I would just like to leave you with it today.
UNTIL JESUS IS ENOUGH FOR YOU, NO PERSON OR THING WILL EVER BE.
Be encouraged my friends, your singleness is a time for pressing in and pursuing your relationship with GOD and strengthen that. His plan for your life is so much better than our own we just have to keep trusting. It’s okay to be emotional, lonely, and confused during these single years just remember that God is right there with you holding your hand.
Until then I’m right there with you single as a pringle, and ready to mingle. 😀