Welcome Back Friends~
You might have noticed I haven’t posted since September but to be completely honest life has really gotten me down. I have struggled with depression before and the last several weeks it’s taken me for a ride. I am however happy to say that over these weeks God has been speaking to me and wants me to share my life with you. This is going to get personal and real with you. It’s scary sharing these things with the world. I’m being very vulnerable right now. I’m absolutely terrified of how this is going to be read but through this struggle I pray it will encourage and tough the life of just one person.
This post is going to be a little different from my other ones but I hope you stick around and get some encouragement out of it. Most of you know that music is a huge part of my life and often times God uses a song to speak to me. The song I am about to share with you is one He used to help change my life. I encourage you to take a listen to it before continuing to read. It will help you understand better where I am coming from.
The song is called Holding Nothing Back by: Ryan Stevenson.
So without further adieu here it goes.
The beginning of this song talks about a hurting heart. Sometimes we put up barriers, but behind those barriers we are hurting inside. Our heart has been thrown around and beaten up. We feel like we’re falling apart. There’s times when everything that could go wrong does or at least we think so. We tend to play victim and feel targeted. We feel like we have to dodge so many things that it just wears us out both emotionally and physically. Every minute of the day feels so hard and sometimes we don’t understand why. We keep asking the question “WHY is this so hard?”
I’m holding nothing back from you.
Doesn’t really matter what I lose.
Got a heart that’s open. I’m broken and I want you to know.
Jesus, I don’t want anything coming in between you and me.
Jesus, it doesn’t matter what I have to go through.
I’m holding nothing back, nothing back from you.
Over time and especially the last several weeks, I found that I don’t want to hold back from God. I don’t care what I have to loose whether it be friends, family, money, a job, etc… my heart is open. We are all broken! We all make mistakes. Our lives are far from perfect. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone is going through something. It doesn’t matter that we are broken. We can show the world that we want them to know this. No matter what we don’t want anything to get between Jesus and us. No matter what life throws our way we won’t hold back. Holding back isn’t an option. We want Jesus to know He is our priority.
I’ve got a list that goes on and on.
It’s overflowing with memories of everything that I’ve been doing wrong
And I’ll be the first to say, I’ve chased after so many foolish things looking for a
way to kill the pain.
We as humans tend to keep lists of every single thing that has gone wrong in our life. We tend to go over and over in our minds the memories. No it’s not wrong. You are completely normal if you think these thoughts. I would be worried if you didn’t have these thoughts. This is what makes us need to rely more on God. I’m not ashamed to admit this. There have been so many things that I thought would help with the pain and the hurt. Things I would watch or listen to even though I knew deep down inside that Jesus was the only thing that would help me with my hurt and pain. Right now I want to encourage you that if you have been searching for someone or something to “kill” the pain and haven’t found it yet then you haven’t found Jesus. He’s the only one that can take your hurt, pain, and grief and heal you.
I try to do the right things.
Why am I struggling day to day with these same old things?
Whatever’s taking your place, I’m getting out of the way.
I’m getting out of the way.
It’s time for us to take control. Let’s step out of the His way and let Him take over. Whatever we are struggling with, whatever we are using to take His place, let’s stand up and say enough. We are done letting the enemy take control. I know I am. I want Jesus and nothing will hold me back.
Today I challenge you and remind you that no pain, hurt, lies, insecurities, or whatever else will hold you back from God.