There’s a lot that I would like to say today but I’m going to do my best to keep it from turning into a novel. Lol ⠀ I’d like to take some time to reflect back over this year since tomorrow is my birthday and I’ll be turning 24.⠀ I can’t say that this year wasn’t hard. ⠀ I can’t say that I was always happy.⠀ I can’t say that nothing went wrong.⠀ I can’t say I had perfect health. ⠀ I can’t say that my life was perfect.⠀ I can’t say that I didn’t make mistakes. ⠀ I can’t say that it was the best year of my life.⠀ I can’t say that I didn’t let people down. ⠀
Deep breath, it's all going to be okay. I just gotta keep trusting. At least that is what I keep telling myself every day. This past weekend I attended my local IF GATHERING women conference. The whole theme was on trusting God. Can I just say that the messages of the speakers just hit hard with me and convicted me? Well, that was definitely the case. Trusting God is something that I say all the time but am I REALLY trusting Him? It's not always easy to trust God especially when circumstances are hard and you feel like you are drowning but it is always worth it to trust God. My own life has been filled with more hard, dark times than one 23 years old should have to deal with and still I haven't lost my faith. Okay I lied, I've questioned it several times but haven't completely lost it.
One of the goals that I set for myself last year in 2018 was to read the Bible through in a year. I was pretty consistent and kept up with it until about March. Life happened and while that is still no excuse I fell behind and just got discouraged so I gave up. Fast forward to 2019 and I set the same goal again. This year I was determined not to get behind and really keep up with it. I even bought one of the chronological journaling/coloring Bibles to help me stay focused. Well, I managed to keep up for the first month despite getting sick with the flu twice. While it was good, I kept feeling like God was telling me to stop.
Hello February, when did you get here? Wasn't it just January? The past month has been rough due to getting sick with the flu twice as well as dealing with my chronic health issues. I'm hoping February will be better and I will be healthier. Right now I am still recovering but on the mend. There's so much that has been on my mind lately that I have been praying for. Our young adult group Anthem just finished up a 21 day fast and we celebrated with a Worship Night to end the month of January.
I was blessed to be able to attend Passion Conference 2019 with my church at the beginning of the month. It was not only my first time going to Passion but it was also my first church trip ever. There's so much that happened over the three days that I am still trying to process. God was definitely moving in my life as well as others there. It was a sold out venue. It was amazing to see so many others my age worshipping and praising God. It was so refreshing. If I had to summarize the three-day conference in one word the word I would choose is: POWERFUL! Between the worship and the speakers, I can personally say my life was changed. My perspective on faith was challenged and strengthened all at once. I'm not quite sure how to explain all the emotions that were running through my mind.