Valentine's Day can be a sensitive subject especially to the girl that is single. You see everyone hypes up the day to be all sorts of romantic with candy, love and spending time with that significant other. Well, that's all fine and dandy if you are in a relationship but for the girls who are single as a pringle, it's just a sore reminder that at last, they are still single. You see, I am 23 years old and never once has been on a date. Never once been in a relationship, and never once really been in love. Now sure I've had crushes on guys who I thought were hot or had a great personality but nothing ever came of it. I probably cried more over the fact that he didn't like me or notice me or wasn't into me when nothing ever happened. Does that make me crazy? Crying over a boy that was never mine, to begin with?
Deep breath, it's all going to be okay. I just gotta keep trusting. At least that is what I keep telling myself every day. This past weekend I attended my local IF GATHERING women conference. The whole theme was on trusting God. Can I just say that the messages of the speakers just hit hard with me and convicted me? Well, that was definitely the case. Trusting God is something that I say all the time but am I REALLY trusting Him? It's not always easy to trust God especially when circumstances are hard and you feel like you are drowning but it is always worth it to trust God. My own life has been filled with more hard, dark times than one 23 years old should have to deal with and still I haven't lost my faith. Okay I lied, I've questioned it several times but haven't completely lost it.
One of the goals that I set for myself last year in 2018 was to read the Bible through in a year. I was pretty consistent and kept up with it until about March. Life happened and while that is still no excuse I fell behind and just got discouraged so I gave up. Fast forward to 2019 and I set the same goal again. This year I was determined not to get behind and really keep up with it. I even bought one of the chronological journaling/coloring Bibles to help me stay focused. Well, I managed to keep up for the first month despite getting sick with the flu twice. While it was good, I kept feeling like God was telling me to stop.
As I reflect back on 2018 one thing that comes to mind is this quote. ⠀ NO MATTER WHAT THE OUTCOME OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES ARE... GOD IS GOOD. HE IS ALWAYS GOOD!!! ⠀ This is what I clung to over the past year. It wasn’t easy and at time painful, emotional, and exhausting but through it all God is faithful. He is good. God was with me every step of the way. ⠀ At the beginning of 2018, I chose a word for the year. My word was "THRIVE". The idea came from a line in a song by Casting Crowns. I want to do more than just survive I want to thrive. That was my goal for this year. Did I thrive? or Did I just survive? I'd like to think that I did a little bit of both. There were definitely areas in my life that I thrived in more than others over the last year. As I looked back through my goals I feel like I accomplished some of them.
Everyone is going through something. Just because they look fine and put together on the outside doesn't mean they have it all together. Most of the time it just means they don't let it show because people just don't understand and pass judgment on them. I've gotten a lot of opinions and advice over the years. People have told me time after time that I should trust God or press into Him. One of the most common phrases is well if you aren't happy with your circumstance then do something about it to change them. Don't keep focusing on what you don't have. Focus on what you do have. Everyone else doesn't have it all together. Everyone is going through something. Stop comparing yourself to them. There are people worse off than you. You should be thankful you aren't them. You know what? That is like a stab in the heart right there. Of course, I know that others are worse off than me. Of course, I know that everyone is going through something. I should know this better than anyone.